IC contact

[wiseoldbartender]

Husk

Fuck off.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

🔥 | NSFW

FROM: SUBJECT: FLINS Husk. I'm not sure I know how... FLINS Lottery Number, Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth... ZEVRAN Were you, by chance, aware that your beloved... FLINS It is January 17th, 2025 CE FLINS January 10, 2026 CE FLINS January 3, 2026 CE FLINS December 27, 2025 CE FLINS December 20, 2025 CE ALASTOR Good day, old friend! FLINS December 13, 2025 CE FLINS December 06, 2025 CE SHROUD/HARU I was told you had a pest problem. FLINS November 29, 2025 CE ZEVRAN My dearest of furred friends! FLINS For the sake of convenience... FAMILY CHAT So we got a pig now. LAPIS I know you don't want a big fuss... EDWARD If you want to talk about it or... DIARMUID I heard what happened. CEREZA Knock knock, my little Sourpuss~ CAMILLA Say, Husk, you wouldn't happen to have any recommendations... LAPIS Father's Day SAMPO/LAPIS/JINWOO Husker Agapov. On the next night in... LAPIS Are you at your place right now? EUNIE how's this month's mission mildred

TO: SUBJECT: FLINS Y'know how you think shit can't possibly... ZEVRAN WEE WOO WEE WOO FLINS Okay Baby, I'm gonna need you to do me a solid... JUN Flins asked me to message you... JINWOO Jinwoo, get your ass here... SHROUD Whatever higher power is in control... FAM CHAT What does it mean when you dream DIARMUID So. Are we gonna talk about the thing. FAM CHAT Weird request. One of you needs to come... BLADE Got a sword from that sketchy shopkeeper. ELLIOT Hey, Elliot. Think shit's calmed down enough... DIARMUID Order came. At Jinwoo's place. LAPIS That FUCKING son of a BITCH HUA CHENG Shit's getting bad. LAPIS One of those flying boxes gave me a new phone EUNIE You might wanna stay away from your regular place for a while.

code by cawaii

Comments

[lanternae]

Hm. He must've gotten it on sale. I'm sure he simply wanted to get you the most up to date phone they had. And this way, it's less likely to get damaged.

And yes, that is when you 'cash in' as the saying goes.

[His mind drifts back to the previous conversation though, clearly not quite finished.]

Does it still require a cord to plug in?

[wiseoldbartender]

It's not less likely to get damaged when I throw it at a wall because the fuckass thing keeps trying to get me to use Alexa for everything. I don't need a robot in charge of my fuckin' schedule, Kyryll! I don't know what the fuck she thinks I do all day that needs a schedule, but it ain't half of what she's imagining.

Looking forward to what to pull off.

[ Oh good! An opening to be more mad!!! Thanks, Darling, you're so good to him! ]

Yes! And it's also got this fucking DISC??? And you charge the disc up and then just. Put the goddamn phone on top of it and it charges that way. It's like witchcraft or some shit. Why can't anything be normal?

I just wanted to get a basic ass phone I could play snake on. This is a fucking nightmare.

[lanternae]

[That is a whole lot of words he doesn't understand. But he listens. His delightful little tomcat is having a crash out, it's his duty to be a good wife and listen to him to completion before he weighs in.]

This 'Alexa'. Does she call you often? Perhaps I should visit her myself and let her know that you are quite spoken for, and your schedule is dictated by you and the lovely little channel on your television that lists those Golden Gentlewomen.

Her status as a robot does not deter me. I'm willing to stand outside her door for hours.

[He listens again. The fae part of his brain tingles merrily at this witchcraft disc, but for the sake of his cat's blood pressure he'll hold off. For now.]

How do you 'play' snake, exactly?

1/2

[wiseoldbartender]

What?

2/2

[wiseoldbartender]

[Oh no. Oh, fuck. Flins thinks Alexa is an actual person. Well, any rage Husk had is immediately dissipated by doubling over and laughing. ]

Ha ha. Oh my FUCK, Baby, no. It's okay. You don't gotta fight for my honour against Alexa or anything. She's just an AI programme on the phone. Like a personal assistant. Lotta people have one on their new phones. She's just there. I promise she ain't getting fresh with me- she's not actually alive.

[He loves you so much, you absolutely insane dipshit.]

I appreciate you wanting to defend me from her "advances" though. That's fucking adorable.

Anyway, snake is a game where to push this line around on your phone, and make it gather up pixel blocks. Each block you gather makes it longer - like a snake. The trick is to keep it moving without hitting yourself as the tail gets longer.

[lanternae]

[Oh. He'd misunderstood. It sounds like this is a robotic voice built into the phone itself as an assistant. His mistake. He'll stay his hand...Though. It might be fun to chase this a little further. For the cat to smile just a little bit more.]

'Personal' assistant, you say. Well, let me know if it gets a little TOO personal. I am more than enough to assist you in anything you wish.

[How good could this 'Alexa' be anyway. He'd heard the younger Ratniks talk about something called a wife-foo and he didn't understand why they were hopping up and down. She sounds controlling. A nagger.]

Could you show me this game of snake? It sounds like fun.

[wiseoldbartender]

[ Well~ If Flins is going to just serve him the opportunity to flirt on a silver platter like this, he'd be a fool not to take it. It's right there! ]

Oh? Anything I wish? Because I can write a very extensive list of all the things you can assist me with, Kyryll.

[ Clearly she's got nary a sniff on this "wife-foo". Get better, Alexa! ]

Sure thing, Darlin. I think you'd probably enjoy it.

[lanternae]

[The way Flins eyes glint like stars in the night sky, seeing Husk come back with those obvious flirtations. It makes him feel centuries younger. A far more playful fae (and he was still plenty).]

That so. Care to share a few? Or will I have to wait until your next visit?

[The cat visits daily, Flins.]

I've heard playing games together is how young couples like to spend their time these days. Perhaps we are being 'hip'?

[wiseoldbartender]

[ There was something about Flins that made Husk feel considerably younger than he was, too. It's a deeply pleasant feeling he wants to keep chasing. A new lease on life. ]

I'd hate for you to have to wait as long as you always do to see me. That feels cruel.

[ He'll be there in, like, a few hours. It's really not that long at all.]

I have been getting a hankering to peel that fancy outfit off you, layer by layer. And I've really got a need to hear you make that sound you do when I bite that spot on your neck that you like so much. You think those are things you can assist me with, Kyryll?

[ He snorts lightly. ]

Is what that they say? I dunno how much a game that came out in the 90's would be considered "hip" by the Youth these days. I think they only care about their stupid dances on their ticky-tocks.

[lanternae]

[Absolutely terrible that this is a private thread. They can flirt as unashamedly as possible.]

You know, I do believe I meet those exact qualifications for assistance. It's been far too long since I've felt those claws on my skin.

[It hasn't. They do this regularly.]

Is that why those teens were dancing outside my lighthouse months ago? I did see them wiggling about like garden eels in what looked like a ritualistic dance, but I wasn't sure the reason for it.

[wiseoldbartender]

[ They can have a whole fun time to themselves, with no one to roll their eyes at them or anything! ]

I thought you might just, somehow. Seems you're the perfect man for the job, then. [ They do this so regularly. ] Well, seen as you've been pining for them and all, after waiting for so long, I suppose I can bump my visit up a little earlier. Just for you. I'd hate to think you've been suffering, Baby~

Oh yeah, that would have definitely been a ticky-tock thing. They act like damned fools so that they can encourage their friends to act like damned fools too. Dunno why they can't just go hang out at a campfire and get drunk like I did when I was their age.

[ Kids today! ]

[lanternae]

You spoil me, Husk. I will be waiting with bated breath by my door for you.

You'll also be happy to know that I've been persuaded to make needed upgrades to my lighthouse. I am told I am to make a list before the new year.

[Threatened. He was threatened. Politely. By an old man.]

Is that so? I'd thought of going to see what was amiss, but I was worried I would spook them or disrupt a ritual to summon a deity.

[wiseoldbartender]

You deserve to be spoiled. Just a 'lil. I'm on my way, save you waiting SO long.

[He can fly and text at the same time, it's fine! ]

Wait, what? So after two months of me bitching at you, someone else has finally made you realise you need a home that's not leeching heat every second of the day? Who did it? Can I buy them a fucking cake?

If you're making a list, can you add a nice bed on there? Seriously. I'm asking you to do this one thing for me and my poor old back.

[ He's still buying AZ a cake for doing what seemed to be the impossible. ]

Nah, no rituals, just stupid dances. They'd probably ask you to join in, if anything.