IC contact

[wiseoldbartender]

Husk

Fuck off.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

🔥 | NSFW

FROM: SUBJECT: FLINS Husk. I'm not sure I know how... FLINS Lottery Number, Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth... ZEVRAN Were you, by chance, aware that your beloved... FLINS It is January 17th, 2025 CE FLINS January 10, 2026 CE FLINS January 3, 2026 CE FLINS December 27, 2025 CE FLINS December 20, 2025 CE ALASTOR Good day, old friend! FLINS December 13, 2025 CE FLINS December 06, 2025 CE SHROUD/HARU I was told you had a pest problem. FLINS November 29, 2025 CE ZEVRAN My dearest of furred friends! FLINS For the sake of convenience... FAMILY CHAT So we got a pig now. LAPIS I know you don't want a big fuss... EDWARD If you want to talk about it or... DIARMUID I heard what happened. CEREZA Knock knock, my little Sourpuss~ CAMILLA Say, Husk, you wouldn't happen to have any recommendations... LAPIS Father's Day SAMPO/LAPIS/JINWOO Husker Agapov. On the next night in... LAPIS Are you at your place right now? EUNIE how's this month's mission mildred

TO: SUBJECT: FLINS Y'know how you think shit can't possibly... ZEVRAN WEE WOO WEE WOO FLINS Okay Baby, I'm gonna need you to do me a solid... JUN Flins asked me to message you... JINWOO Jinwoo, get your ass here... SHROUD Whatever higher power is in control... FAM CHAT What does it mean when you dream DIARMUID So. Are we gonna talk about the thing. FAM CHAT Weird request. One of you needs to come... BLADE Got a sword from that sketchy shopkeeper. ELLIOT Hey, Elliot. Think shit's calmed down enough... DIARMUID Order came. At Jinwoo's place. LAPIS That FUCKING son of a BITCH HUA CHENG Shit's getting bad. LAPIS One of those flying boxes gave me a new phone EUNIE You might wanna stay away from your regular place for a while.

code by cawaii

Comments

3/2 text; un: fortuneclovers

[medicgunner]

how's this month's mission mildred

[wiseoldbartender]

[She can't hear it, but he's screaming. ]

WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU?!!!

[medicgunner]

i'm not telling

[wiseoldbartender]

You know, I'm starting to realise why everyone said the Kaisou branch was fucking batshit.

[medicgunner]

yeah and now you're here too welcome to batshit hell mate we have cursed potlucks every two months

[wiseoldbartender]

I'm super aware of that, thanks. I ain't going to no potlucks. I'm not here to be fucking SOCIAL.

[medicgunner]

even if i wasn't just kidding around you don't got a choice in the matter

[wiseoldbartender]

I have a choice in that I can go get drunk in a bar instead. Lotta bars in this city. They'd never find me.

[medicgunner]

they'll find a way. :)

[wiseoldbartender]

I dunno. I got pretty good at avoiding people. They'd have to try pretty fucking hard.

voice | un: laluna (after Teresagate II)

[crisantemo]

[ Lapis heard what Teresa said about her. About Marlon. And she heard just how upset Husk got in response.

She knew better than to step in during that confrontation, not when her name was mentioned. But she's still worried. ]

Are you at your place right now?

[wiseoldbartender]

[He kind of figured this was coming. He'd hoped he could be significantly drunker before having to deal with this, but here they are. ]

Sure am. Here all fuckin' night.

[crisantemo]

[ Too bad Old Man, she's not letting you get any drunker. ]

Good, I'll be there soon.

[ And thanks to the power of shapeshifting + flying, she's there in a few minutes. Knock, knock, Dad! Though there's deliberately a small rhythm to her knocks, so he knows it's not Teresa. ]

[wiseoldbartender]

[But his coping mechanism!!!

He knew it wouldn't take her long, he knew it wouldn't take her long at all. The knock does help, though- it's familiar, safe. He's not afraid of Teresa - but he also knows if they had a fight it would be fucking messy and he's not sure how well he'd fare in it. He's not as young as he used to be. She probably could take him now.

He opens the door, a bottle of Beezlejuice in his hand because he might as well continue his downward trend of terrible decisions today. ]

I really do gotta get you a key.

[crisantemo]

[ Too bad!!!

The bottle gets a glance when he opens the door, but she's quick to let herself in. Even if she's worried about him drinking that, hopefully she can stop him from getting too terribly drunk. ]

You do. We can maybe do that tomorrow, depending if you're still up for moving around. [ It's a gentle jab, like always, but her voice immediately softens; concern clear as she takes a look over her father figure. ]

... How are you feeling, Husk?

[wiseoldbartender]

[It's not even a drink he liked that much in his past life- he has hazy enough memories of it to realise that. But this shit is strong and oh boy does he need it tonight. He takes a long pull from the bottle, heaving out a sigh.]

Don't hold your breath. Was planning on drinking myself into a fuckin' coma tonight.

[Which he is, at least, aware likely won't happen now Lapis is here to try and steer him away from self-destruction. He closes the door behind her, moving to sit on his couch in a slump.]

Just peachy. Never better. Walkin' on fuckin' sunshine.

[crisantemo]

I would vastly prefer you not in a coma, Old Man.

[ He slumps on the couch, and Lapis doesn't hesitate to sit next to him - there's still some space if he needs it, but it's also close enough that he can just. Slump on her if he wants to. ]

Yeah, I can see that. [ There's no dry humour to her tone though, only just a girl concerned for her father. ]

... Bringing him up was a low blow. [ But nothing is ever too far for Teresa, as vile as she is. ]

[wiseoldbartender]

Duly noted. I make zero promises.

[He doesn't move immediately. Instead, his shoulders sag as he looks at the bottle in his hands, rolling it idly between clawed fingers. ]

Yeah... well. Kinda asked for it. Should've known she'd do it- that psycho goes for the jugular every time.

[He raises his shoulders in what's supposed to be an indifferent shrug, but it's really not. Much as he can try to put up his front of not giving a shit, that one hit too close to home. It was a harsh reminder of what he got himself stuck into. That he'd done this to himself in two completely different lives, with completely different monsters. How badly can a person fuck up their existence to manage that twice? ]

It is what it is. [He takes another swig of the Beezlejuice, welcoming the sharp pang of it, and the promise it holds of future oblivion. Then, finally, he relents and does a little sideways lean nearer to her.] Bitching about it won't make him any less dead- won't make them give any more of a shit that he's gone, neither.

[Your mistakes in mentoring Guardian Fiore is biting somewhere in the back of his mind, too. He knows Teresa did it on purpose- attacking a weak spot, trying to get at him. He hates that it kind of did. He didn't think he fucked up with Lapis that badly. She's still alive, which is a step up from Marlon. But fuck, maybe he's just kidding himself and he messed her up in ways he just can't see. That'd track.

He doesn't voice any of that, of course, not a chance. He just takes another long pull of the bottle. ]

Eunie got somewhere safe, at least.

[crisantemo]

[ Lapis is simply silent, as she listens to him. He plays at indifference, but she knows it's not - she knows just how badly Marlon's death eats him up, how badly he spirals because of it. Even though she's strong and she lived, she knows none of that makes up for what happened to him - for how the Order treated him.

And she lets him keep drinking, for the moment. She'll fuss and take the bottle off him later, but she'll let him have this for the moment. It's only when he leans nearer does she move as well, shifting close enough that her arm presses against his - a solid presence, amidst everything else. ]

Yeah, she's with Zhongli. [ The safest place to be, in this city. At least that's one good thing, amidst the giant mess that this is.

Part of her wonders if he thinks he's made mistakes in mentoring her. It's a thought that makes her heart sink, when it's only because of him that she isn't completely dead and hollowed out; maybe that's what the Order wanted, in the end. But she doesn't want to think about that.

So she hums again, eyes drifting over to that bottle. ]

Drinking yourself into a coma won't help either. [ Numbing himself to those feelings won't make them any less real. ]

... You know none of it is your fault, right. She said all of that just to get to you.

[wiseoldbartender]

[He knows, logically there was nothing he could have done about Marlon's death. The kid had worked damn hard, and he was ready for a solo mission. Husk knows better than to let self-loathing get at him, that's another layer of bullshit he doesn't need. No, Marlon's death was on the Order, fully and wholly- there wasn't shit Husk could have done to stop it.

He always knew the Order didn't care about them, you couldn't be in the Order for more than a month without picking that up, unless you were a Zealot. But experiencing just how little of a fuck they gave about the teenager they got killed hit different. That was the start of the snowball of him losing what was a fairly decent position in the Order. It was like looking behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz. Can't unknow just how fucking little you mean to people- and you sure as shit can't go back to wanting to be part of it. ]

Good. He'll keep her safe. ...For now at least. Dunno how long it'll last, not while Teresa's still here.

[Eunie's on borrowed time. All of the former Guardians that got out are. He almost says that Zhongli gave him an out- offered him a deal that would make him safe from the Order. But he bites it back- that would lead into conversations of why he didn't take it and he's feeling bad enough without adding fucking Alastor into the mix. He takes another pull of his drink.]

I dunno. Means I can check out for a couple hours. That'd help.

[He's so fucking tired. It would be so much easier if he could have just continued his self-destructive existence after Marlon. He'd always managed to be functional enough at his job that the Order couldn't make a good cause for Sealing him. It worked. But then Lapis came along and it's a lot harder to let your vices eat at you in the vain hope they might eventually destroy you when you have someone you genuinely love. Someone who loves you back.

The power of love can't completely trump alcoholism, but god if it doesn't put a spanner in the works. She could have done a lot fucking better without having to deal with dragging his ass out of the gutter all the damn time as a kid. Sure, he kept her from being dead inside, but he sure as hell never made it easy for her. ]

Yeah. I know. They're the ones who fuckin' killed him. They knew he shouldn't have done that shit alone, but they sent him anyway. [His fingers tighten on the bottle a little.] Sometimes, I think they did it on purpose just to get rid of him. They never fuckin' thought he was good enough. Didn't think for a second maybe he was just a goddamn traumatised kid and wouldn't be a perfect soldier right from the get-go.

Around the date of may 20th

[anyprice]

[ some magical items are better off tested and seen before trusted.

this notebook he'd gotten today came with some PRETTY INTERESTING instructions, huh? Aha was vividly giggling in his head as Sampo considers it, nods his head. and starts writing.

thanks to sampo's constant dealings with the man over the last 15 years of outrunning and dodging one Husker Agapov, his name was the easy part--but the prank...?

Well.
it says nothing impossible, or deadly, but.
A lot of soap and shampoo companies also have factories that produce things like dye, too, don't they.

Which means... ]

Husker Agapov. On the next night in which Husk purchases and cleans himself with a bottle of bodywash, he will find there was a factory mix-up and some yellow dye got combined in with a small batch of the product. The issue was not caught until the bottling process, which most of the bottles got pulled but a few made it past inspection--which Husk realises only after having himself a nice relaxing bath.

[wiseoldbartender]

[Bathing is always a pretty consistent pain in the ass for Husk. When your body is largely either hair or feathers, washing is a long and laborious process. It's got even worse since he got the stupid mermaid curse- because it means there's a delicate balance between trying to get his legs clean before they turn into one solid tail and he suddenly becomes part of a whole other world.

But still, he managed to navigate that mess, and have himself a nice, relaxing bath. Sure. he's still in Lapis and Jinwoo's place, unwilling to leave while things were so fraught after Douman, it's been a traumatising time and having a moment where he can just chill out is rare and welcome.

...You know, right up until he's drying himself off and realises that he's fucking yellow anyway.]

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!!!!!

[lowestclass]

[ here jinwoo is, minding his business as he boils tea on his own stove to serve to Husk after his shower, complete with some individually wrapped snack cakes...

He almost drops the tin of tea that he'd been gifted by Zhongli a few months ago as Husk suddenly curses loudly and without warning from the bathroom. ]

--E, eh!?

Is--is everything okay? Did you slip and fall--did the shower break?

[crisantemo]

[ Meanwhile Lapis is... mostly moving around again. Shit still hurts and she's tired but at least she can walk again, which is a plus.

So mostly she's in a dozing position on the couch, absently listening to Jinwoo move around the kitchen area before just. Startling awake when she hears her dad yelling, freezing for a moment in Panic Mode before shifting to sit up. ]

Dad, are you alright? Did you pull your back again...?

[ It doesn't sound like 'Distressed Husk Cursing' so hopefully it's alright... ]

[wiseoldbartender]

[RIP the nice tea.

Husk is speedily putting pants on, while trying to rub the FUCKING YELLOW off but it's not going. He grabs the body wash bottle, squinting at it, but he can't see the tiny fucking bitch letters - why do they even print this so small? (Why doesn't he wear his reading glasses?)

But he can hear Lapis and Jinwoo asking for him and he knows he... probably can't hide in here or avoid this humiliation until it wears off - assuming it even WILL, fuck. ]

I didn't fuckin' hurt myself, you little shits! [What do you think he is? OLD?!!! He leans by the door.] Something fuckin' stupid happened with my shampoo. Was anyone fucking with it?