IC contact

[wiseoldbartender]

Husk

Fuck off.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

🔥

FROM: SUBJECT: FAMILY CHAT So we got a pig now. LAPIS I know you don't want a big fuss... EDWARD If you want to talk about it or... DIARMUID I heard what happened. CEREZA Knock knock, my little Sourpuss~ CAMILLA Say, Husk, you wouldn't happen to have any recommendations... LAPIS Father's Day SAMPO/LAPIS/JINWOO Husker Agapov. On the next night in... LAPIS Are you at your place right now? EUNIE how's this month's mission mildred

TO: SUBJECT: FAM CHAT What does it mean when you dream DIARMUID So. Are we gonna talk about the thing. FAM CHAT Weird request. One of you needs to come... BLADE Got a sword from that sketchy shopkeeper. ELLIOT Hey, Elliot. Think shit's calmed down enough... DIARMUID Order came. At Jinwoo's place. LAPIS That FUCKING son of a BITCH HUA CHENG Shit's getting bad. LAPIS One of those flying boxes gave me a new phone EUNIE You might wanna stay away from your regular place for a while.

code by cawaii

Comments

Around the date of may 20th

[anyprice]

[ some magical items are better off tested and seen before trusted.

this notebook he'd gotten today came with some PRETTY INTERESTING instructions, huh? Aha was vividly giggling in his head as Sampo considers it, nods his head. and starts writing.

thanks to sampo's constant dealings with the man over the last 15 years of outrunning and dodging one Husker Agapov, his name was the easy part--but the prank...?

Well.
it says nothing impossible, or deadly, but.
A lot of soap and shampoo companies also have factories that produce things like dye, too, don't they.

Which means... ]

Husker Agapov. On the next night in which Husk purchases and cleans himself with a bottle of bodywash, he will find there was a factory mix-up and some yellow dye got combined in with a small batch of the product. The issue was not caught until the bottling process, which most of the bottles got pulled but a few made it past inspection--which Husk realises only after having himself a nice relaxing bath.

[wiseoldbartender]

[Bathing is always a pretty consistent pain in the ass for Husk. When your body is largely either hair or feathers, washing is a long and laborious process. It's got even worse since he got the stupid mermaid curse- because it means there's a delicate balance between trying to get his legs clean before they turn into one solid tail and he suddenly becomes part of a whole other world.

But still, he managed to navigate that mess, and have himself a nice, relaxing bath. Sure. he's still in Lapis and Jinwoo's place, unwilling to leave while things were so fraught after Douman, it's been a traumatising time and having a moment where he can just chill out is rare and welcome.

...You know, right up until he's drying himself off and realises that he's fucking yellow anyway.]

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!!!!!

[lowestclass]

[ here jinwoo is, minding his business as he boils tea on his own stove to serve to Husk after his shower, complete with some individually wrapped snack cakes...

He almost drops the tin of tea that he'd been gifted by Zhongli a few months ago as Husk suddenly curses loudly and without warning from the bathroom. ]

--E, eh!?

Is--is everything okay? Did you slip and fall--did the shower break?

[crisantemo]

[ Meanwhile Lapis is... mostly moving around again. Shit still hurts and she's tired but at least she can walk again, which is a plus.

So mostly she's in a dozing position on the couch, absently listening to Jinwoo move around the kitchen area before just. Startling awake when she hears her dad yelling, freezing for a moment in Panic Mode before shifting to sit up. ]

Dad, are you alright? Did you pull your back again...?

[ It doesn't sound like 'Distressed Husk Cursing' so hopefully it's alright... ]

[wiseoldbartender]

[RIP the nice tea.

Husk is speedily putting pants on, while trying to rub the FUCKING YELLOW off but it's not going. He grabs the body wash bottle, squinting at it, but he can't see the tiny fucking bitch letters - why do they even print this so small? (Why doesn't he wear his reading glasses?)

But he can hear Lapis and Jinwoo asking for him and he knows he... probably can't hide in here or avoid this humiliation until it wears off - assuming it even WILL, fuck. ]

I didn't fuckin' hurt myself, you little shits! [What do you think he is? OLD?!!! He leans by the door.] Something fuckin' stupid happened with my shampoo. Was anyone fucking with it?

[lowestclass]

[ listen, it's been a long time since Jinwoo's shared a house with anyone but Lapis, and he's read about how old people can sometimes like. fall and break a hip and it fucks them up really badly so of course he's worried!!!

But he calms down a bit when Husk shouts back with irritation rather than pain or panic--and he's gonna put the tea aside to slowly move down the hallway. ]

I bought that shampoo for you given you'd need something more efficient than the stuff I normally use. [ you know, the tiny bottles of some prissy designer brand because deep down he's still a tv star and is very vain. he'd bought a bigger more grocery-store brand for husk for when he would stay given he has a ... lot of fur, and his little bottles of product wouldn't quite cut it. ] Is there something wrong with it?

....

Did it make your fur go curly? Some products can make your hair frizzy, I'm sorry, maybe I should have gotten pet shampoo...

[crisantemo]

[ Yeah, if Husk's yelling like that, then the old man is fine. It does make her wonder what exactly has gone wrong though, and she takes a moment to push herself off the couch with a wince. Ugh, it really is like she's pulled every muscle... ]

I doubt that's it, you should see him when it's humid. [ Nothing can save his fur then, it's a lost cause. And pet... shampoo...

Lapis knows what he means, but - ] And wording, Jinwoo.

[ But she makes her way down the hallway too, leaning against the wall by the bathroom door. Standing without support is still difficult, and she has to resist the urge to schlump down and sit on the floor. ]

I haven't touched it either. So, what's happened?

[wiseoldbartender]

[Husk would not have had much luck with Jinwoo's prissy-ass shampoo, that's true. One of those tiny bottles might have covered a leg, if he was lucky. ]

It's not fuckin' frizzy!!!

[The humidity is a cruel mistress to him. But unfortunately, Jinwoo used the P Word and an annoyed, angry gurgling growl comes from somewhere in the bathroom.]

I'm not using pet shampoo you fuckin' shitting shit. I'm not a fuckin' pet.

[Sorry, Jinwoo, that's a Trigger Word. He almost opens the door when he hears Lapis get closer.]

Okay. I'm gonna show you, but if you laugh, I'm fying outta the window and I won't come back. Deal?

[And then, he'll open the door, gesturing with annoyance at his damp, yellowed fur.]

It's fuckin' yellow.

[You know. In case. They didn't notice. ]

[lowestclass]

--I didn't mean pet shampoo in the way that--you're. Just. It's better for fur?! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. [ he's making a real mess of this, both of his hands are coming up to wave them in a way that's supposed to be apologetic.

Not that Husk will see it until he comes out to.

Show off his new Dandelion form.

Jinwoo doesn't want to stare.

But Jinwoo is staring.

He's only just getting used to breathing again, so holding his breath to keep the laugh IN is remarkably easy, but his face is definitely turning a bit reddish with the effort.

he'll turn away, respectfully. ]

--I'm going to get my laptop. I'll.

I'll start researching ways of getting it out. And maybe contact the. Manufacturing company.

[ he's running out of air. ]

[crisantemo]

[ Oh. Oh, Husk sure is...

Yellow.

Incredibly yellow.

Lapis also just... stares for a good moment. Maybe two moments.

He says not to laugh, and the noise Lapis makes to hold back her laugh is impossible to hide. Even as she brings her hands over her face, desperately trying to hold it together.

- Ow ow ow, laughing hurts actually, and there's a wince as she lets out a wheeze like a deflating balloon - dragging her hands down her face. Keep it together, Lapis. ]

I-I'm not laughing. [ This isn't laughing. She swears. ] Aha - Ahem, right maybe we can... see what we can do with this now while Jinwoo looks. And tries not to suffocate.

[ It's so obnoxiously bright, how the hell did this happen?? Lapis pushes herself from the wall with a wince, hand resting against it to keep herself propped up while the other is offered expectantly. ]

Let me see the stuff you used, dad.

[wiseoldbartender]

[He will remember the pet shampoo comment, Jinwoo. He will remember it and bring it up years, decades from now. This insult will hang over you until the end of your days.

He steps outside and watches the kids try and fail not to laugh at this nonsense he's dealing with. His tail flicks in annoyance as he folds his arms across his chest like that will do anything to hide all the YELLOW. A low, grumbling, muttering growl bubbles out of his throat.]

You're both fuckin' laughing- Jinwoo's about to fuckin' pass out- breathe, you goddamn idiot.

[Still. At least they're offering solutions, which is better than complete and open mockery. So, muttering curses under his breath, he turns to the bathroom, pulling out the big bottle of shampoo which... honestly just looks like regular shampoo. Nothing on it suggests this should be dyeing anything. He holds it out to them.]

Look. Just a fuckin' normal-ass shampoo bottle. I don't fuckin' get it.

[lowestclass]

[ please forget the pet shampoo comment effective immediately. he wants to shrivel up and die. english is a hard second language, even if you've spent ten+ years learning it.

He's going to breathe. Breathing. He's breathing. He clears his throat to prove it.

He's also flicking open his laptop on the coffee table and typing in a few things--remembering the brand and typing it into the search bar.

...

There's a long quiet silence for a moment as Husk and Lapis deliberate over the bottle, and then Jinwoo sighs. ]

You guys are gonna' wanna come read this.

I found a news article.

[crisantemo]

[ Sorry Jinwoo this is your fate, for years to come. They will remember this.

And Lapis does let one little giggle slip out, before she reaches for the bottle - taking a look over it with a hum, while Jinwoo gets his laptop. It seems... perfectly normal, and she turns it over in her hands as she examines it closely. Nothing weird is written on the label either, and she shakes her head with a faint hum of confusion.

It sounds like Jinwoo has found something though, her head perking up with a curious sound - and sorry Husk, but she's going to use you as support since moving around still aches. But once they have view of the laptop, she chirps up with; ]

What does it say?

[wiseoldbartender]

[ Sorry Jinwoo, the Polygot Agapovs will never let you rest on this.

Husk's ears pin back at the giggle, heaving an annoyed sigh. His existence continues to be a prison. He doesn't mind being the support, though, bending a little so she can get a better grip on him without stretching. He peers over Jinwoo's shoulder. ]

...How bad is it? This shit better come out.

[lowestclass]

[ this is his life. He'll learn to live with it. Suffer with it. It's fine. He's found himself caring about these two a lot and dealing with them getting annoyed at him for his lack of intelligent responses is just gonna be a fact of life.

He gives a slow sigh as he starts to read out the article... ]

'Complete Recall on Maybelleaf's Soft and Silky Line of shampoos, after factory mishap that caused many of its products to become cross-contaminated with its line of popular 'Panic Magick' temporary hair color. While most of the bottles of contaminated product was caught and taken off the line before distribution, it has come to the company's attention that some of the mixed bottles had made it past inspection and may have been distributed to the general public. If you have found one of these bottles please contact the number below for a refund...'

[ he trails off and turns the screen towards the other two. Showing a bottle that looks identical to the one that Lapis is holding, as well as a dozen little jars of temporary violently-colored hair dyes... ]

[crisantemo]

[ It's okay Jinwoo, Lapis still loves you even if you just... say things sometimes. It's a charm point.

And she'll listen silently as he reads the article, tilting her head with a low hum - squinting at the pictures as he turns the screen towards them. Yeah, those violent shades certainly match with how... aggressively yellow Husk is right now. ]

Well. [ She says with a click of her tongue, letting herself lean against her dad as she examines the bottle. ] At least we can get a refund, and it's temporary.

[ So not all terrible - ]

So after a few washes you'll stop being mustard coloured, dad.

[wiseoldbartender]

[It's a fact of life but they let you live amongst them anyway. Like a feral cat colony accepting you as one of their own or something.

The article is just a bitch-ass cherry on top of his shit sandwich. He stares at the HORRIBLE YELLOW and drags a clawed handle slowly down his face with a long-suffering groan. ]

Jesus fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I know my luck is dogshit, but it should be this fuckin' bad. How the fuck do you mess it up that badly?

[This is a nightmare. He didn't ask for any of this. ]

Well. Like fuck am I goin' outside like this.

[lowestclass]

I... I don't know. Maybe a funky new hair color isn't so bad. [ ...even if red and yellow kind of give him drifting thoughts about Anpanman... ]

But Lapis is right. At least the type of dye that. Somehow got mixed into the shampoo bottle is temporary dye and can wash out quickly...

So at least you aren't stuck with it for a few months...?

[ after living so long with Bad Luck-itis, Jinwoo has taken up the habit of "think of the positives"--where the positive is usually "let's imagine how this could have been worse." ]

[crisantemo]

Yeah, changing things up isn't that terrible. [ Gotta think on the brightside! It's a trait she has mastered due to... having a dad, a cousin and a boyfriend all with terrible luck. So much bad luck. ]

And after a few washes it will come out, so it's not permanent. Like Jinwoo said, only a few months. [ Lapis will shift to take a look at that horribly, violent yellow that is now Husk's fur; considering their options for a moment. ]

I'll look up methods for getting dye out faster too. And if you need something, Jinwoo and I can get it for you if you really don't want to go outside.

[ ... Let's be honest, that will mostly just be Jinwoo for the moment. Lapis is still struggling to stand upright without support.

So he will have to be errand boy. ]

[wiseoldbartender]

Okay, I'd like to see how much you fun chucklefucks would think "changing it up" to a "funky new hair colour" would be if your hair looked like you'd been mauled by a fuckin' Teletubby.

[ Do YOU guys want the bright yellow hair? Do you?!!

Still, the kids are offering reasonable solutions here, so he heaves out a long, tired sigh. ]

I mean. I guess it's not like I lost a leg or something. [ Because that's the logical escalation of this. Limb loss.] And fiiiine. Once it's less fuckin' obnoxiously yellow I'll head out again. Thanks, I guess.

[lowestclass]

...Okay, you got us there. Changing it up isn't a bad idea, but yellow is... definitely not the color i'd choose.

Maybe purple, or maybe even blue...

[ he trails off quietly as he closes his laptop, tipping his head back to look at Husk with a sort of crooked, well-meaning smile. ]

I can go out and get you guys anything, Lapis is right.
Maybe I can find some sort of shampoo that's good at getting temporary dye out...

[crisantemo]

Is this you offering to dye your hair in solidarity?

[ The words are said with a soft chuckle, a small grin directed Jinwoo's way, before she hums in agreement. ]

There should be something like that... Clarifying shampoo is meant to be good for that, so there's one option.

[ And with a gentle nudge in Husk's side; ]

So you'll be fine. It will just take a few washes until it's not as insanely bright, that's all.

[wiseoldbartender]

...You know that would take the sting outta the whole experience.

[Don't listen to the Agapovs, Jinwoo. Don't let them do this to you. You're a good boy! Husk is glad for the help though, it's genuinely helpful. ]

Yeah? You think that'll work? Well. I'll give it a shot, gotta be worth it. Thanks, Kid. [That's to Jinwoo. For offering to go get it. He rolls his eyes as his daughter nudges him, heaving out a sigh. ] I'll take it. Anything's better than looking like a fuckin' Peep.

[lowestclass]

[ he cant help it he's too polite for his own good sometimes.

hes standing here
considering it
looking between yellow husk and red lapis .... ]

...I. Well. Lapis did mention I needed more color in my wardrobe...

[ he's trying so hard to imagine himself with purple hair right now and it's not going well.


.....could he even get his hair dyed, what would a hair dresser do about his horns.... ]

I mean, what's the worst that could happen. The product I buy being tainted with blue dye this time...

[ It's a joke but

...

it's a very real possibility isn't it

he clears his throat. ]

I'll go out now, if you two think you can handle yourselves for an hour on your own.

[crisantemo]

[ Clearly he has to join Yellow Husk and Red Lapis by becoming Blue Jinwoo. They'll have all the primary colours then. ]

And dying your hair could be a fun way to introduce more colour.

[ Don't listen to them!! The Agapov's are full of awful mischief, and her grin brightens for a brief moment. ]

Plus I can always dye it for you, if you're worried.

[ Terrible. But she chuckles as Husk rolls his eyes, letting herself straighten up a little more now. ]

Peep could be a good look for you too. [ But teasing aside; ] We'll be fine, I promise. I can have a look and see if we have anything in the house in the meantime, to help make the yellow less... yellow.