IC contact

[wiseoldbartender]

Husk

Fuck off.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

🔥 | NSFW

FROM: SUBJECT: FLINS Husk. I'm not sure I know how... FLINS Lottery Number, Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth... ZEVRAN Were you, by chance, aware that your beloved... FLINS It is January 17th, 2025 CE FLINS January 10, 2026 CE FLINS January 3, 2026 CE FLINS December 27, 2025 CE FLINS December 20, 2025 CE ALASTOR Good day, old friend! FLINS December 13, 2025 CE FLINS December 06, 2025 CE SHROUD/HARU I was told you had a pest problem. FLINS November 29, 2025 CE ZEVRAN My dearest of furred friends! FLINS For the sake of convenience... FAMILY CHAT So we got a pig now. LAPIS I know you don't want a big fuss... EDWARD If you want to talk about it or... DIARMUID I heard what happened. CEREZA Knock knock, my little Sourpuss~ CAMILLA Say, Husk, you wouldn't happen to have any recommendations... LAPIS Father's Day SAMPO/LAPIS/JINWOO Husker Agapov. On the next night in... LAPIS Are you at your place right now? EUNIE how's this month's mission mildred

TO: SUBJECT: FLINS Y'know how you think shit can't possibly... ZEVRAN WEE WOO WEE WOO FLINS Okay Baby, I'm gonna need you to do me a solid... JUN Flins asked me to message you... JINWOO Jinwoo, get your ass here... SHROUD Whatever higher power is in control... FAM CHAT What does it mean when you dream DIARMUID So. Are we gonna talk about the thing. FAM CHAT Weird request. One of you needs to come... BLADE Got a sword from that sketchy shopkeeper. ELLIOT Hey, Elliot. Think shit's calmed down enough... DIARMUID Order came. At Jinwoo's place. LAPIS That FUCKING son of a BITCH HUA CHENG Shit's getting bad. LAPIS One of those flying boxes gave me a new phone EUNIE You might wanna stay away from your regular place for a while.

code by cawaii

Comments

[wiseoldbartender]

Casimir. He's his bitchass pet cat. Also yeah, apprentice. They take shifts manning the lighthouse. I don't know how the fuck it works, at this point I'm afraid to ask.

Of course, he didn't. You've known him a little while now, have you ever known him to make any sort of regular-person statement?

Wait, did you think he was cheating on my with Casimir? Aw. Did you defend my honour?

[mmmleather]

So I have found out. He also informed me it was my fault for assuming such. But, this is me we speak of. He mentions beds and affection and what am I supposed to think?

[HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S ABOUT.]

Not cheating, precisely. I assumed he was wooing two at once and enjoying pitting you against one another. I merely informed him these situations do not, in fact, end well for anyone. Someone is usually murdered in the end.

[wiseoldbartender]

Yeah, you know much as I love him and much as I know your mind is pretty permanently in the gutter, I can see fae bullshit a mile off. He just didn't think about it before saying it.

Oh. Yeah, no. As previously established, I ain't a sharer. And apparently I'm not allowed to murder his stupid cat, so we're stuck with each other.

[mmmleather]

It is a very pretty gutter, at least.

And you, my friend, are a very patient man in regards to him. You should be commended.

All the more reason why I was... why I advised him to cease. [Shut up he wasn't worried. He has no feelings.] Can you not just appease the creature with a fish?

[wiseoldbartender]

Sure. You bedazzled it and fuckin' everything.

I'm expecting my medal in the post any day now.

Awwwww. You DID give a shit. I see you - I see you giving a shit, Zev. [ It's too late, he sees it, there's no escape.] I don't want to appease the little shit, I don't fucking like him.

[mmmleather]

"Bedazzled"? You have said this word before, but I do not know it yet. What is it?

Only because I know first hand what happens in those sorts of tawdry situations. Someone ends up dead. Multiple someones.

What in the Maker's name did a cat do to anger you so?

[wiseoldbartender]

It's when you stick little plastic gems on things to make it look tacky and shiny. You'd like them.

[ Is he saying his friend is tacky? Yes? And? ]

Uh huh. Sure thing. You keep telling yourself that, Zev.

He's a fucking asshole! He gives me evils every time I'm at Flins' place, and he sheds all over my clothes. I'm PRETTY sure he tried to piss in my coffee once.

[mmmleather]

I do like shiny things. Tacky? That depends.

[HE'S NOT DENYING IT.]

... Which part? That romantic rivalries often end in murder? That part is very true, I assure you. I have been the one doing the murder many times. As part of the job, of course.

[HAHAHAH. Hah. Yeah. Totally part of the job.]

It - it is a cat. Can you not just. Psspsspss it away when you are there?

[wiseoldbartender]

Trust me, you'd like this kinda tacky.

I'm not gonna kill my partner's stupid fuckin' cat. It's fine. I can just ignore the asshole. And... yeah you know what, I ain't even gonna get into that, of course you did.

That makes cats come to you, Dipshit. And no, he does whatever the hell he wants. On account of the fact he's a cat.

[mmmleather]

I will have to see, if you are so sure.

Of course you are not going to murder the animal, but when I assumed it was another person, the danger seemed possible.

... does it work on you, then, my friend? The psspsspss?

[wiseoldbartender]

Hang on, lemmie wrangle my phone to:



Like that.

What? I wasn't gonna kill a person either? Jesus christ, what you think I just go about stabbing people and shit? If it was a person trying to hit on Flins, I'd just punch them in the face like god intended.

...No. Fuck off.

[ It absolutely works. ]

[mmmleather]

Oh. I was expecting more... gold. I prefer gold.

My friend, anyone can stab anyone with sufficient reason. I assume nothing.

[There's a pause.]

[The feed switches to voice.]

[He knows this won't work a bit, he's not even expecting it to, but he has to. For the Bit. He pitches his voice down as low and sultry as he can... and...]

Psspsspss.

[You know what he said about sufficient reason? Stab him, Husk.]

[wiseoldbartender]

You can probably get all gold ones. I don't know. I've never used them myself because I ain't a tween girl or a drag queen.

Well, I'm not about to stab anyone. I don't got a reason to stab his "apprentice" even if he's the most obnoxious fucker alive.

[ His ears immediately swivel at the sound. Luckily, his video is off so Zevran can't see it - and he has no plans to turn it on to give him the satisfaction of seeing it happen. ]

Har de har har. You could your chuckles out now, Fucko?

[mmmleather]

Oh! I learned of drag queens, and kings, as it happens! Most impressive work! They cut very stunning figures.

Ah, well. They do say cats are independent creatures - that must apply amongst themselves as well.

[That text reaction is exactly what he was hoping for. The latter part stays audio so Husk can hear him laugh to himself.]

Indeed I have. You are a good sport, my friend.

[wiseoldbartender]

Sure do. Someone I knew from my past life was one. You remind me a lot of him.

[ Which is why Husk keeps sticking his neck out and wanting Zevran to be fucking safe. Got him right in the old Angel Dust memories. ]

Maybe it does. Or maybe he'll start shit again and I'll lock him in the bathroom.

I'm ignoring you now.

[ He hates you he hates you he hates you ]

[mmmleather]

Oh? Was he also devilishly handsome and wickedly charming?

[You're such a bro, Husk. He'd do the same for you, and also not admit to it unless it was dragged out of him.]

Why not just give him his own room to stay in when you visit your lantern ghost? That seems it would solve very much indeed.

[Sure you do, Husk.]

[wiseoldbartender]

...Yeah I guess he was. He was my best friend. Good guy. Wore the flippant flirter mask on just as well as you do.

[ There's a reason Husk picked up on Zevran's bullshit immediately and that reason is called Angel Dust.]

We got the cottage now, so I guess that's doable. The fucker would probably show up just to be a petty asshole anyway.

[mmmleather]

Mask? What mask? I am a terrible flirt! You know this. It is my favorite hobby.

[It's the thing you're doing right now, sir.]

Then lock the door from the outside. Would that not work?

[wiseoldbartender]

You know exactly what I mean. But sure, keep it up. I'll just keep calling you out on your bullshit until you see it for what it is.

[ He sees right through you, Zevran! He sees RIGHT through you! ]

I could try? It'd save being watched if nothing else.

[mmmleather]

I am confused. What are you referring to? Surely, I have no idea.

[He will deny everything. Always.]

Watching? He watches you have sex? What sort of debauched creature is that?

[wiseoldbartender]

You keep trying, Buddy. One day, someone might believe you.

Because he's a fuckin' creeper who's got so sense of personal space.

[mmmleather]

Believe what? It is the truth.

Eugh, suddenly I am glad the Warden had a dog, not a cat.

[wiseoldbartender]

Sure. If you say so.

Dogs are a lot better than cats, they made a good life choice.

[mmmleather]

There is a tremendous amount of irony in you preferring dogs to cats, my friend.

[wiseoldbartender]

I'm aware. I never liked cats that much. I reckon that's why my demon form is one. A big cosmic fuck you, y'know?