I'd still feel like I wronged you, but I'd bother you less about it. [He sips at his own drink. It burns his throat going down, and he'll take that as some sort of penance.] I've been carrying my guilt around for years, this'll just be one more thing to add to the pile.
[There might, perhaps, be a good reason why he knows this dive bar well enough.]
Hm. I don't know about you having worked for the Order longer than I've been alive. I was born 1693.
You really don't. But like I said, I've carried it for years. I know the weight of it intimately, at this point. [It weighs exactly as much as a friend's dead body in his arms.] I can handle a bit more.
[It'll suck, but it won't break him. It'll just...knock him down for a little while. But he's good at getting back up again, too stubborn to stay down.]
Thirty-two. [Pause.] Thirty-three, I've been here a year. And, let me guess, you're a hundred years old?
Least you know what you're in for. Probably more than some of the poor fuckers caught in that mess.
[ There were kids there - actual kids. Those are the ones Husk feels will struggle the most. ]
Sixty-three, so still twice your age, you smug fuck. [ As spiky as his words are, he's smirking as he does it. The he sighs, taking another swing of his drink. ] ...Past life was about that, though. Maybe more. But I was also... fuckin' dead. So there's that.
Better than the children that bloody fucking ship dragged into this. Better than my interns. I can understand me, but they shouldn't have gotten caught in that shite in the first place. At the very least I ought to have been able to keep them safe when we got there.
[He didn't, and that's something that's always going to stay with him. That instead of being of any use to anyone, instead of being able to protect anyone, all he really did was make things worse.]
Really. You don't look a day over fifty. [This, from the man who's been at sea long enough to look forty.] What's your secret? [Jokes aside, he sighs.] What do you mean, you were dead?
[Husk grimaces, he'd been out of his goddamn mind for the vast majority of that experience, but... ]
Yeah. I remember the kids. That was some real bullshit, bringing kids into it. [And yet he doesn't sound surprised. He's spent too long in the Order, where kids were at best moulded into perfect weapons or at worst were cannon fodder. It was terrible, but it was the way of things. He takes a deep slug of his drink.] You can't save everyone important to you. 'Specially when you're going out of your own head. That fuckin' think was designed to break us, you can't beat yourself up for getting broken.
[He snorts, raising a bottle. ]
Pickled everything. [ That is not the answer. He leans forward on the bar a little, frowning.] Past life? I'd died and gone to Hell. S'what this stupid cat bullshit is, it's just my demon form. Been dead a while too, don't remember all of it that great, but I know that much.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-07 12:37 pm (UTC)[There might, perhaps, be a good reason why he knows this dive bar well enough.]
Hm. I don't know about you having worked for the Order longer than I've been alive. I was born 1693.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-08 08:08 pm (UTC)[He snorts, taking a swig of his drink. ]
Aint what I meant and you know it. You're like... fuckin' what? Thirty?
no subject
Date: 2024-11-12 07:02 am (UTC)[It'll suck, but it won't break him. It'll just...knock him down for a little while. But he's good at getting back up again, too stubborn to stay down.]
Thirty-two. [Pause.] Thirty-three, I've been here a year. And, let me guess, you're a hundred years old?
no subject
Date: 2024-11-12 08:05 pm (UTC)[ There were kids there - actual kids. Those are the ones Husk feels will struggle the most. ]
Sixty-three, so still twice your age, you smug fuck. [ As spiky as his words are, he's smirking as he does it. The he sighs, taking another swing of his drink. ] ...Past life was about that, though. Maybe more. But I was also... fuckin' dead. So there's that.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-15 02:00 pm (UTC)[He didn't, and that's something that's always going to stay with him. That instead of being of any use to anyone, instead of being able to protect anyone, all he really did was make things worse.]
Really. You don't look a day over fifty. [This, from the man who's been at sea long enough to look forty.] What's your secret? [Jokes aside, he sighs.] What do you mean, you were dead?
no subject
Date: 2024-11-15 09:57 pm (UTC)Yeah. I remember the kids. That was some real bullshit, bringing kids into it. [And yet he doesn't sound surprised. He's spent too long in the Order, where kids were at best moulded into perfect weapons or at worst were cannon fodder. It was terrible, but it was the way of things. He takes a deep slug of his drink.] You can't save everyone important to you. 'Specially when you're going out of your own head. That fuckin' think was designed to break us, you can't beat yourself up for getting broken.
[He snorts, raising a bottle. ]
Pickled everything. [ That is not the answer. He leans forward on the bar a little, frowning.] Past life? I'd died and gone to Hell. S'what this stupid cat bullshit is, it's just my demon form. Been dead a while too, don't remember all of it that great, but I know that much.