[It's a fact of life but they let you live amongst them anyway. Like a feral cat colony accepting you as one of their own or something.

The article is just a bitch-ass cherry on top of his shit sandwich. He stares at the HORRIBLE YELLOW and drags a clawed handle slowly down his face with a long-suffering groan. ]

Jesus fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I know my luck is dogshit, but it should be this fuckin' bad. How the fuck do you mess it up that badly?

[This is a nightmare. He didn't ask for any of this. ]

Well. Like fuck am I goin' outside like this.